halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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