He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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