Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
