You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize