At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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