don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
