Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
