some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
