I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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