for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
