I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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