My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
