Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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