4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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