if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
