I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
