...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
