She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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