well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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