booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
