i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
