R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
