Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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