the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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