I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
