We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
