Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
