Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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