Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
