found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
