We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
