How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
