She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
