I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
