I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
