the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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