Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Your face is a jimmy john
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
