He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
