You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize