Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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