This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
