Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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