Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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