how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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