Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize