btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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