five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
