I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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