i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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