Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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