she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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