is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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