I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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