we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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