don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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