apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
