On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
