So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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